11 steps to becoming a better man via journalling

CB: You can draw. You can write. We process in different ways. I’m quite visual so sometimes I draw and see what comes through. Without getting too energetic and witchy, we consist of ten energy bodies within us. The first four energy bodies are within the mind and I see journalling as an opportunity to work through these different energy bodies. I think focusing on these questions is a great structure for readers: what am I trying to connect to? What are the limiting thoughts, the old stories and conditioning that are getting in my way? If I looked at this differently, what comes through What am I going to choose and commit to now? That’s the process I go through every single day. 

MM: There have been studies to show that thinking about what you have to do tomorrow can be a more effective tool for journalling than reflecting exclusively on the day before. It’s counterintuitive: “If I think about all the things I have to do tomorrow, will my mind race?” Studies suggest no and all the metrics used to measure journalling promote thinking about tomorrow rather than exclusively thinking about today.

Do I have to use a physical book?

CB: I know people who type, but I love the pen to paper as there’s an energy in that. When we write, our conscious brain is focused on the writing, but our subconscious is focused on the processing, so I think that’s really powerful. 

MM: For me, journalling is best done before bed, as a great way to wind down, like an intentional pause. Not doing it electronically also does two things. First, it forces you to slow down. There are no distractions. If you’ve got your notes page open on your laptop, who’s to stop you checking Instagram or your inbox? None of those are present on a physical journal. Second, light exposure before bed, especially after 10pm, is not so good for overall health, although we’re still exploring what it does to you. So it makes sense to use an actual journal.

What sort of book should I use?

CB: Any book can do. My advice would be one that inspires you. My journal right now is next to me. It says, “She believed she could so she did,” which is a nice affirmation. I also want to take my audience into the US so I’ve got California-themed notebooks. Something that evokes a journey you want to go on or something you want to connect with is important.

Let’s not set ourselves up with any expectations on how it should or shouldn’t be done. Let’s just say, “This is an opportunity for me to allow whatever is trying to flow to come through” – whether that’s through writing, drawing or just putting “I don’t know what to write.” All of a sudden something can break through. It has to feel good. If you want to commit to it, you have to enjoy it as a process.

AG: I think I’ve used them all. I’ve got a WH Smith notepad, but I’m also a huge fan of a blank journal, especially as you get more adept. 

If you’re first starting out, as a man particularly, I think a directive journal – which has questions or prompts – is great. I’ve got the High Performance Planner, designed by a coach called Brendon Burchard. It’s very directive and has been researched by neuroscientists. Prompts and questions are really useful. As you get more experienced and more connected to it, you can play around with it. Get a plain one, a nice looking one, treat yourself, but the directive ones are a great place to start.

What if I’m too preoccupied with it looking neat?

MM: If you could see mine… It’s just chaos. Utter chaos. It’s about getting past this idea that it has to have this format or structure, an introduction through to conclusion or have a solution to everything. Recognising that it doesn’t have to be that way is step one. Make it the best journal for you: is it run-on sentences, literally stream of consciousness, trying to get the pen to keep up with your brain? Or is it writing, pausing, figuring out what it means and then moving on? Getting past that mentality or having the permission to do so is vital. It does not have to look like anything.